Just Watch My Wildest Dreams Come True...

....not one of them involving you.

You. This is probably long overdue, over-done, over-stated, over-thought, over-everything, but I'm going to say it one more time and mean it with all that I am to the best of my ability. I want you to watch every dream I have come true. I want you to see that I chose good, and you. Well, I don't know what to say. You chose hatred and anger. I can say that I am truly sorry for the trials in life you have faced and will still face, especially since you live too deeply into things that may or may not last (mostly the latter) in your opinion. I am sorry I could not prove that wrong. But there is a reason things went the way they did. Now it is time to let your ghost rest in peace. It is now time to give up the nostalgia that's been holding me back and finally move on. You taught me a lot. You became a heavy influence on what I believe when it comes to true friendship and real love. So here's to letting go of the past that haunted many things in "my" today. I can only hope that you have a great life. That eventually you stop living for yourself and you see that there is something--someone bigger out there. And like our song went, "when one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep on going until you find the window". Good luck.


And to you. Mostly to you. This is probably the hardest part. Letting go of...this feeling that I've kept for so long. I don't quite know exactly how I'm going to do it, when it's going to really happen, or how it will work. I do know that it needs to end. My dreams need to come true...without you. I suppose my dream can still be what I desired if I had you, but they cannot be you anymore. That limits me, stunts me, makes me a spiritual, emotional, social, atrophy. I still want to be around you. I'll still be around you because that's what I'll do as a friend. I can't do this jealousy anymore. I can't do this sadness anymore. Somehow, if my dreams are supposed to include you then I don't know there is so much pain behind it. So for now, I want you to watch my wildest dreams come true, not one of them involving you (it's so hard to stand by this conviction because my heart is still screaming that maybe God wants you, but baaah! This only makes me much more detmermined)...


Good luck. God bless. I love you.