Remember Me?

Hmm, for some reason it feels like it has been a looong time since I last blogged something. Oh well, I guess I've been writing in my diary as of late so I ignored this one, haha. Yes, I keep separate stuff. My diary is much more private and I don't censor myself there. This is what I am willing to share with the general public that are my friends and this one is filled with random stuff that I'm sure I wouldn't really mind losing if this site were to die one day....

ANYWAY!

So, tomorrow is my last day of the second week of school. SO far it's gone fine. I'm taking Philosophy, Spanish, Sociology, and Math.
--Philosophy: the professor is kind of dry, but the class is very interesting. I like the in-depth thoughts and I like what we're learning...mainly we are learning about past philosophers and their beliefs. In this class I don't really talk to anyone, well, maybe this girl named Cessia who sits beside me. But only on occasion.
--Spanish: ehehe....no me gusta la clase de espanol....Well, it's okay, I suppose. The teacher hasn't taught yet. All we do is break into assigned groups and go over the previous night's homework and the teacher will occasionally speak about it. I like group work sometimes, but this is much...I like taking notes during a lecture, especially during a language class, I feel like I'm actually learning that way. While in groups I feel as though I'm not going to reach full potential. In this class, I don't really talk to anyone outside of my group, haha. Even then, we don't talk much, we're all business...and I feel like I'm the black sheep in the group. O_o
--Sociology: The very first class on the road to my major! :DD That's exciting! However, is it bad that I don't enjoy it that much? I think it's because when I go to class I really want to learn something, I want to use up as much time as possible in class. The professor is very nice, but she is somewhat scatter-brained...then again she is teaching classes back-to-back so that would make anyone a little loopy, so I can't really be too hard on her....well, at least this is only sociology 100...I'm sure it will get interesting in time. Hmm, in this class, I don't talk to anyone...well, we had to talk t the person next to us, but I'm shy so I didn't continue talking to her.
--Math: Math...I like the teacher! He is much better than my previous professor, ugggh! I can only hope that I can get a good grade in this class (as well as all my other classes!). In this class I talk to Josh. He's nice, and I'm jealous of his eyes! =O

So yep, that's the low-down on my classes! Tomorrow I'm going to a Bible study at school? O_o I hope that turns out well...

Okay, one with what I really wanted to write about. Then again, I suppose writing about classes could fit into this category, because it is me leaving a mark on people. Yesterday I went to Jesse's and Anthony's mother's funeral (her name was Loretta). I didn't know her at all. I think I remember seeing her once, but I did not speak to her because she was a stranger to me, pretty much. As I sat in the back row listening to people share their memories about her, I began to think of who she was. I do wish I could have met her. Then, there was also a lesson during the funeral so I was like "O.o what the heck?!" so I kinda tuned out but listened at the same time....but mostly I was gone. Anyway! I began thinking about my own funeral...if I were to die as a youngin'.

I don't know, I don't want my funeral to be a "funeral". I want it to be a celebration of life! I'm sure that people will cry, because when a loved one passes that's what humans do. They cry. Stick 'em in a room with other mourning people it's a bawl-fest...sorry if I'm desensitizing it.

I would want the people at my celebration of life to be smiling a little. I want them to laugh when a friend or family member goes up to the podium and shares that "I remember the time when...". I don't want people to view my body. That sometimes makes it harder. I would want my celebration to be in the daytime, not at night, despite how much I love the stars. I want it at the day time because I want the sun shinning as proof that life goes on, that God will still be there. Also, I want them to feel the warmth of the sun and imagine it as a hug, when I'm cold, I like standing in the sun to warm up, and I imagine it as a giant hug and I'm safe, haha...me=nerd! When funerals are at night, it seems like there is a darker cloud of sadness.

I want to be remembered as a witness of God. To be remembered as the one who always loved, not because of things I've said, but because of the things I've done. Actions speak louder than words. When words fade and there is silence, action does not need noise.

Yep.

And I want my celebration of life to be my final act of witnessing for God. That maybe someone will hear all the stories and know that there is a loving and powerful God who I have finally gone home to.