Ho Hum and a Bottle of Rum

You know, I don't know why people enjoy drinking so much....especially pirates. What's so great about rum. Really? It smells gross...then again, perhaps I have a really strong gag reflex. Huh, who knows. I don't!

Second random point to make...isn't Owl City amazing? I think they (he?) are/is. Whenever I listen to his music (like now!) I have a sudden desire for it to be summer break and for it to be the middle of the night. I desire this because I just imagine myself lying in an open meadow, sometimes with friends, sometimes by myself just staring at the vast indigo/deep blue sky littered with a million stars and there's a nice breeze too. Wowzers, I'm such a dork, haha. =p

Anyway, that's not the reason for the blog, but those were two random things I had to say. Well, anyway, today was quite fun. =]

This morning I went to first service because at second service I am the Sunday school teacher in the two-year old room. The sermon was good, I stayed awake for it, thanks to God. It was funny in a way, me being so tired. I was just thinking about how the Enemy could attack me, and I suppose he has been doing it already. The arguments with the people closest to me, the lame working schedule, and me nodding off during Dale's preaching. I suppose I never thought things like that could really happen to me, or at least not in ways like this...because..this just seems so...small, I guess. I plan on doing the 7 days of prayer thing. Hopefully that goes over well. I think it should...As for the attacks, I just gotta look to Jesus! I mean, really. I still struggle with anger and jealousy and other stupid negative emotions that I'm fairly good at keeping buried (meaning I don't lash out), so Satan was able to play that card on me. And also the working schedule, that was a dirty trick. This will technically be the first Christmas Mommy and I spend together (the last years I don't really count because she was asleep and I spent the hours curled up in myself) and I have to work...especially on New Year's Eve/Day. Also my wandering thoughts and sleepy mind. I love Dale's sermons, sure I can't remember them word for word, but I really like hearing them and taking what he has to say to heart and the enemy was trying to use that against me today by making me soooo sleepy. -_- Well I took a nap, so ha! Beat that Satan! Owned! :DDDD Plus another first service note, today a lady asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I responded "genuine love from friends and family is enough". I realized as I said that...it was true, all I want is just a simple hug (a real one, not the one armed hugs!) and a "happy Christmas, I love you" from the bottom of a friend's/family member's heart is enough for me...but it sounds so selfish...I guess it is because I am so insecure and dependent..because I cannot find good in myself. ._.

>.> Well, that was a weird paragraph...anyway, so after first service, second service rolled around and I was with the babies. Normally Mike, my teaching partner, is there somewhat later than me and today I heard the music start and I'm like "O_O...Mike? *sad*". Cj failed to tell me the Porters' are out of town so I was like "No! I can't do this by myself!". Cj asked me if there was anyone I knew who I could do this with and I said Jakob because he is always with me during Community Groups and he's good with kids and I felt comfortable around him. Cj told me to go get him, I was like "No, you get him. If you go, it looks more official and important". So Cj went, Jakob came, and it went well....-______-''' Ugggh, yeah, it went well...haha. But I think, since Mike is leaving in February, Jakob said he'll be my partner for a while, which is great! So, yeah, Sunday School went somewhat well..I changed a poopy diaper and ran into a door...

Tonight was the College Group Christmas party, I had fun there! It was a White Elephant Exchange so I ended up with the bow and arrow...and ended up trading last minute for the clock, which will be Delaine's Christmas gift (shh! Don't tell!), bahaha. I realized I like talking to guys. It irked me somewhat. I'm not too bothered by it...I'm only weirded out by it when I notice. But..there's something about girls that make me uncomfortable (wow, I sound....bi...). Like, I feel like I'm being subjected to scrutiny more so than with a guy. -_- So yeah, party was fun!

Now I'm home. I uploaded pictures a while ago....they make me happy. :D

Yep.

I was thinking about life...again. The usual stuff. I wish I was gifted with an artistic talent. As I sit here in my chair, in front of my laptop, listening to Beethoven and Owl City, I ponder about life. I could be doing something so much more....useful to the world. But I don't have talents like that, haha. Sad day. But right now I'm wondering is all my big dreams will come true. I'm somewhat determined, but there are so many smarter, more deserving, more...more...just more better minds out there and it is hard to compete with all of that. I want my Master's, but am I intelligent enough to get it? I have so much more thinking to do about life. Especially about..well..

just...one of my dreams I need to give to God. Haha. Maybe in a few years I'll be able to laugh at myself. I hope I can. =]

I saw the Princess and the Frog. It was a good movie. I liked this princess movie because it showed that love is really what everyone needs. You can be this super hard worker as determined as a Japanese kid applying for the top high schools and colleges in their countries (was that racist? If it was, I'm sorry..-_-), but without love that work will not fill any holes in the heart. =\

Yep. That's life.

Ho hum and a bottle of rum. =]