I'm Still Bitter...

Wow...that sucks.
It's probably the stupidest, no, not probably, it IS the stupidest thing to be upset about. I mean...gaaaah...I thought I was stronger than that, but apparently, I'm not. Faaail.
Well, anyway..geebus, I don't even know where to begin!

He apparently doesn't think I'm pretty...

You're reading waaaaaaaay too into this. He never said that. You're assuming. You're hurting yourself and hurting him by assuming--

I am not assuming. I'm right! I'm just learning to love myself, to find the small things in me that make one beautiful being, but something like this just...

Why do you care so much? He's ONE person. It shouldn't matter what he thinks!

But I do care! Why, because I'm obviously the biggest (in more ways than one) idiot in the world...or at least in my quarter of it.

Whatever. He's just one person. So what he doesn't think you're attractive--

I thought he was different. Obviously, I didn't/don't expect him to think I'm the prettiest thing on this planet. I just thought maybe...maybe he saw one thing pretty in me..

How do you know he hasn't? He's weird. He's hard to figure out for the most part. How do you know he hasn't seen something beautiful in you?

Because he could be like all the others...and because I've never done anything around him that could prove I have something in me that's even slightly pretty. At least nothing to take note of. Nothing comparable to her, or his other female friends.

Duuuude, whatever. Remember, he's your friend too.

Is he really? He once told me he doesn't hate people..he hates the things they do. Just because he doesn't hate me..

Aha!! You admit it!

No, I don't. I do still believe with a tiny part of me that he doesn't like me very much...but anyway! Just because he doesn't hate me doesn't me he likes me very much.

He likes you, okay? Shut your face.

...but...Maybe I want to be one of his favorites, but if not that, then I want to be close to him. But he's not stupid. He obviously knows I like him and it's so awkward around him. He's probably pulling himself back because of that.

Maybe not. Maybe you're taking every word waaaay to personally and you're overanalyzing it all.

Perhaps...but...can I rewind? No, can I put it all on pause right now and come back when I don't like him anymore and we can be friends from there?

Sure..but you know that's not the way life works. You just gotta keep moving in a forward motion instead of keeping "Nicest thing" on replay. Stop whining and get up off the floor! The world awaits the smile you're denying it. Turn your eyes to heaven and not on a boy!

But...but...it's hard. I know I said I'd rather be the one aching over him...why can't just for a little while, he ache over me?

'Cause he doesn't like you.

Ouch...yeah..I forgot that minor detail.

I'm still bitter./I'm still bitter.

Will you lash out when you see him?

No, I won't. I'm going to smile and be retarded as I usually am around him.

That's always good. Sure, maybe he doesn't see something pretty now, but if you continue to love on him and be yourself and not stress so much about it, maybe things can change from there. Remember it's not in your hands.

I know...but I wish it was. I wish I wish I wish he was the one. If he was, I wouldn't mind waiting for him!

I know...but again, it's up to God, not you. If he's the one, God will make it work out in the end. If he's not, at least you still have a friend, right?

Neeeeeeeehhhhhh.......

Don't you neeeh me! Remember, you can't escape me.

I can try.

Cheaaah...you can, but you won't succeed.

Shut up, Reason and Optimism..

How do you know I'm not the Spirit whispering to your heart? You didn't reason this out earlier.

Good call.

Bahaha....optimism one, despair zero! OWNED!

That obviously wasn't God...

Perhaps not, but I still win.

I suppose....I'm still upset though, just so you know.

I know...but that's expected. You'll be fine though.

How do you know though?

Because we've been here before and God got us through it, did He not

He did.

Exactly.