So I just finished the book "Beyond the Reflection's Edge" by Bryan Davis. It was an enjoyable book, but because I'm not the brightest crayon in the box it confused me. Basically it's about...dimensions and interfinity. It's hard to explain but it's really good. I'm quite positive if I were to re-read it I would catch some things I did not catch the first time around. This is one of those books one will want to take the time and read and it can't really be skimmed through.
I think my favorite thing in this book was Nathan. Haha...I love how he is not a person but a "thing"...well a character is a thing therefore Nathan is a thing...ANYWAY! Yes, I think he was one of my favorite things in this book. Nathan is described to be a gentleman and it is obvious him and his parents are Christian. Two of my favorite passages in this book are both touched by a Christian likeliness and it made me enjoy the book all the more. I also really liked how music was the key to most of the things in the book, but more specifically the violin. In most books if characters play music of some sort it's something like the guitar or bass or piano or drums or something...common. Although I suppose if the Davis wanted to have Nathan and his mother play a different instrument he could have but the violin seemed to be a nice touch, somehow. After all, the violin is a very pretty instrument.
Good book. Highly recommended. (:
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How can I possibly dare to dream to be someone--something--so much bigger than I am? How can I possibly be a change in the world? I'm shy and I tend to hide instead of being out there. How can I possibly desire to be a light for my Father?
My voice is too soft, I don't have a "face for publicity"...as a matter of fact, I don't think my face really "screams" much of anything such as power or peace or kindness...it's just kinda there, haha.
But the point is..who am I that thinks she can be so much more than she is? What makes me think God can possibly want me when there are others much much more suited for the things I can dream.
I've decided that children have become a passion of mine. Children and those who are broken. I want them to experience the joy I feel to know that there is a living God who loves me forever with an unfailing love that I cannot even begin to describe.
But me, this small, weak, and pathetic vessel that I have made myself into, how can I possibly thing God will want me? I don't think highly of myself and others see that. Why should I be able to dream of doing something great for God when there are others who are in a much better place than I am and are more capable to do His work. Others more suited. Others more fit. Others more...perfect.
Hmmm...God must indeed have something in store for me. He gave me a heart of compassion for a reason. He gave me a heart that breaks every time I see someone broken. He gave me a heart that longs to reach out. He gave me talents and gifts I have yet to unlock. He gave me a perfectly functioning body (although I haven't done a very good job taking care of it -____-') to move, to think, to (sometimes) speak.
It has been a desire of mine since I was younger to do something mighty for God. I had such beautiful dreams as a young girl. I dreamt that I lead people in prayer for a church's healing. I dreamt that in a battle (for lack of a better word) between good and evil and I was able to bring some on the opposing side to the right side. I dreamt that I sang and played music and acted for God. I believed I would go and teach people in Africa about His love. I was restless to go to the countries that people feared going to because of division because I believed that with God if one person heard me it would all be worth it. I would lose my life if it meant glorifying Him.
So the song goes "Take my dreams come and give them wings, Lord with you, there's nothing I cannot do".
Sometimes I don't know if I'm worth that. If there's anything in my voice today that is worth being heard. But other times, I believe God still wants to use me. I just need patience. So my dreams seem a bit big for someone like me, and a bit big now, but He's placed me in places today to show his love. I'm not in a country where people have neither heard the name of God nor are allowed to worship Him. But I am on a large campus with classes where people sure need to hear of His name and love. And I'm helping out at Sunday school and soon doing children's Bible study at community groups. I can start here. I am sure God put me there for a reasons other than what my mind wanders to and for reasons I cannot even think of.
So, the song is right. I am weak. But He is strong enough to take my dreams and make them possibilities...and as I look at it now. I think they are slowly coming true. (:
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So I heard a kid I graduated with recently passed away.
Michael Pyper.
I remember meeting him on his first day of school at Madison Middle school in 8th grade. I think it was after P.E. for me and I think he was in my P.E. period if not class. I remember him and another kid (from the same school he transferred from and was a new student on the same day -- they didn't know each other at the other junior high but they quickly became best friends from that day) walking to my math class.
I remember having an internal battle with myself. "Should I say hi? I mean..maybe I shouldn't. Maybe someone else, one of the popular kids will say hi and I won't have to. I mean I'm not that special. Just give them a day or two and they'll be with the in crowd in no time. No need to say hi....but I should. I should give it a try. They look nice. And it's their first day. I'd be happy if someone said hi to me on my first day..."
I remember catching up to him and Joseph Potter (the other new kid) and stammering out an awkward "hi".
I remember him smiling down at me (yes...he was taller than me then....It was 8th grade where I became the short one again and forevermore from there -___-). I remember a look in his eyes that showed the slightest amount of relief of someone talking to him.
I remember introducing him to Brian in math class and letting it go from there. But I can also remember going home that day that I was glad that I talked to him.
I was never close to him. Sure we had math class together and the same P.E. period together. We were friendly, but we weren't friends because as I predicted he got into the popular crowd. As soon as we hit high school we stopped talking. In Frosh I remember when we passed in the halls we'd smile to each other as if to say "I remember you.....heck yes, high school," but as the years progressed we eventually stopped acknowledging each other.
He was never mean to me. At least to my face. Maybe behind my back, maybe not. I will never know. I do know however the Michael was a genuine person. I'm sure that given the chance we would not have been friends in high school. We could have been....acquaintances, but not friends. He was an intelligent and funny kid.
My prayer is that for those who were indeed close to him and those who truly knew him, my prayer is that God give them strength and healing in the coming days.
May he rest in peace.
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